Smiles and good feelings at the end of 2008

I feel like this year has brought good things, much more good than bad. My friendships have grown, my grades have improved, my relationship with my family is better, and my interests have broadened. I've seen lots of movies, I've gotten new kittens, and I've forgiven someone who I believed was unforgiveable.

Mark, Lindsay, Kela, Jeff, Danielle THANK YOU. Thank you for making this year so much better for me. Thank you for reminding me that I need friends and can't just shut myself away. Thank you for putting up with me even when my crazy starts to show. Thank you for forgiving me when I do wrong. Thank you for making me feel important. Thank you for hanging out with me. Thank you for seeing movies with me. Thank you for indulging in my strange neurocies (spit). Thank you for loving me!

I love all of you, and none of you know the extent to which you've affected me. That sounds stupid, but you have. Those of you who knew me last year, you can probably see how much happier I've gotten in the last year. I owe you 5 everything.

Hmm..

Next couple days are kinda busy. Tomorrow my mom has shit she wants to get done, and then New Years Day my godparents are coming for the day and spending the night.

Today was shit mostly, but I got my laptop. That's nice.

p.s.

Can the snow fucking STOP already? It's going on 2 weeks and has officially ruined my favorite and only pair of boots. Not to mention regressed my independence from my parents to freshman level. Slush is bullshit.

And yes, I'm very aware that I'm being irrational.

:|

I can't stand how angry I feel right now. It's keeping me awake. I'm so angry.

Love the holidays, love bad feelings, love uselessness, love anger.

Why can't it all be simpler and less infuriating? Because it is infuriating. It's infuriating to the point of being ridiculous.

Fuuck.

Christmas, Christmas time is here

Time for music? Time for cheer?

I have to say my mood is biased today from outside sources, but it being Christmas eve I guess I have to be a little bit happy? Just because this morning was complete shit doesn't mean the afternoon must be aswell.

Bella and Booger are being very cute..

Bullshit.

This is a pointless blog post trying to kill time while I attempt to motivate myself into going and doing all the before bed stuff so I can go to sleep, which I really really would like to do.

The weather is getting so much worse. Snow shney shnee. I've never been in a blizzard before, so I guess it's kinda cool. My house is currently surrounded by 2 foot deep snow drifts and icy roads. Not to mention the 65 mph winds making my room shake, again. Who can say global warming?

Saw Yes Man today, and I liked it. Those types of movies always have the potential to suck and really, this one didn't. By no means is it a work of cinematic genious.. But if you enjoy watching Jim Carrey be Jim Carrey than you'll like it.

Happy hannukah on Monday!

Optimism.. ha.

Well today was an extremely good day, which is why I'm not quite sure I understand the reason why my mood has deteriorated rapidly in the last 5ish minutes.

Maybe it has something to do with guilt and feeling as if I've made a rather large mistake... possibly costing me a good friendship? I think that might be it.

Today I went to Kela's in the snow. I liked it. We took pictures and watched old episodes of Arrested Development and Boy Meets World. I love her family.


Tomorrow two-hour late start. Maybe they'll get smart and just cancel school for the rest of the week. What's the point of going for 2 hours Thursday and possibly Friday? All the teachers are just going to be showing movies anyway.

Giddy

Haha I just got my Boy Meet World Dvds in the mail! I'm soaking up the Eric Mathews goodness!

Oscars?

I'm dying for Sean Penn to win best actor, dying.

Scary.

The weather tonight is really fucking terrifying. At least at my house. Especially in my room. We live on the top of this big hill and the winds are hitting our house at around 70 mph! And it's freezing in my room because for some reason the heat doesn't go up there. And every time a gust of wind hits the whole room shakes because its on the corner. I don't really like it.

The no school thing is nice though.. It's also a bit frightening that we're having such a severe winter so soon.. the weather has been crazy this year.

Snow means I can't leave my house. Sigh. It's a bit boring.

strange.

Usually I don't like movies with Mickey Rourke, but I really can't help being drawn to his new movie, The Wrestler. It just looks so good! Great, even. I also have a liking for Marissa Tomei... She's good. Evan Rachel Wood, not so much.

Finals are done at Clark! I'm really proud of myself for making it through my first quarter with a B+ or better in all by classes. And I did well on my finals, so that should raise my grade. Fuck, what a busy week..

Procrastination.

I'm only writing this blog post right now to postpone the inevitable: finishing my essay on the development of political parties in the early United States.

House night tonight. Coincidentally, I just bought a book at Borders called "House and Philosophy". Probably makes it into the top 10 most interesting books I've ever read. It relates all of Dr. Houses little House-isms to different philosophical ideas. (side note: I just wrote and read the word "House" way too many times and now it doesn't even look like a word. I hate that.) For example, Sartre's idea that human discomfort is based on our interactions with other people. That idea is definitely represented in House. They even gave an example of an episode that was most likely based somewhat loosely on Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit. It really makes you appreciate it when shows have intelligent writers who are clever enough to incorporate things like that.

6. Take a philosophy class.

More

5. Go a semester getting nothing but A's.

I'm going to make a list.

I'm aware this is terribly unoriginal, just bear with me. And you don't even have to read it if you find it that irritating.

Anyway, this is the horribly cliche' "list of things I would really like to do before I die, minus the things I find too personal to put on the internet".

Also, some of these are going to seem very boring, but really this specific blog is more for me, not you.

1. Graduate from college (preferably Evergreen State..) with enough knowledge to do something useful.
2. Some Oscar season, see every single movie that's nominated so I can make an educated decision on what movies to support.
3. Visit Monet's Garden's.
4. Go find the old man I met in Carmel 2 years ago who sat and talked to me for 4 hours about his life, he was very nice.

That's all I have now... probably more in later blog posts.

I took this with my phone yesterday so the quality is pretty poor, but I still like how the clouds looked.

Really.

I'm trying so so so so so hard. It's just not easy. I need this for myself. I need it to keep from going insane.

woo for cryptic blog posts, right?